I recently read that the American Academy of Pediatrics is encouraging us to treat kids’ mental health with the same importance as their physical health—not just in moments of crisis, but all the time.
As a single mom to a middle school girl, that truth feels especially relevant as we navigate this exciting and tumultuous phase. She agreed to let me share some of our journey, knowing it could support other families, and help normalize what many youth and their parents are navigating in their own homes.
My daughter is bright, capable, and thriving in so many ways. She does well in school, she’s thoughtful, and she’s deeply aware of herself, others, and the world around her. Alongside all that brightness is something I think many parents are seeing: the quiet, persistent question of “Am I good enough?”
It shows up in her worries about school -even when she’s succeeding – in the subtle comparisons she makes, and in small but noticeable questions about her growing and developing body. Nothing alarming, but very real, and intensified by the world around her.
In those moments, I try to make space for her feelings and listen without rushing toward a solution. I stay present, I validate, and I resist the urge to fix everything. I remind myself that this is the work. It’s about showing up early, in the small moments, and not waiting for something to become a crisis.
It can feel heavy at times: holding space for her while also holding my own responses, my own questions about whether I’m getting it right. (There are many times I haven’t gotten it right, or lost my patience, and I try to use those as opportunities to model apology and repair.)
Even with my professional awareness of youth development and work supporting mental health in schools, it’s different when it’s your child. There’s no distance, just love and the hope that you’re getting it right. Parenting in this space doesn’t come with clear answers, it’s nuanced, evolving, and deeply personal.
What I’ve come to understand is that supporting her means taking care of myself too. I can’t offer her steadiness if I don’t create it in my own life. For me, that looks like staying connected to my own support systems, prioritizing the physical activity I need, and balancing it with rest. What she needs most from me isn’t the right words, but a presence that feels calm, steady, and safe when things feel big.
I remind myself that she doesn’t need perfection from me, just consistency. She needs to feel seen and heard, and to know she’s not alone in what she’s experiencing.
Part of how I’m learning to support her is not doing it all on my own, especially as a single parent. The Parents magazine article reinforced the importance of partnering with pediatricians and addressing mental and emotional health early -not waiting until something escalates. I’m continuing to stay in conversation with her healthcare provider, trusting my instincts when something feels off, and making sure she has the right support around her.
If you’re in this stage too, raising a child who’s navigating anxiety, self-image, and the pressure to be enough, you’re not alone. This work is hard, but deeply meaningful. We don’t need to be perfect, but we do need to keep showing up and stay connected: to our kids, to their schools, to their care teams, and to our own support systems.
